Welcome to Rethink 40. Here, we explore the reflections, challenges, and opportunities that come with turning 40 (and beyond)—navigating careers, family, and life’s changing priorities. Whether you're looking for clarity, growth, or just a little inspiration, you’re in the right place. 

 

About Me

 

Hi, I’m a married father of 2, and like many of you, I find myself at a crossroads. As I approach 40, I’m navigating one of the most challenging yet pivotal stages of my life. For the past few years, I've been living with my wife, two boys, and mother-in-law, after pressing pause on our dreams of owning a home. The housing market just didn’t and stil doesn't make sense, and instead of forcing the issue, we chose to wait—though the decision hasn’t been easy and we are tested daily with news of new homes hitting the market.

 

At the same time, I’ve found myself questioning my career path and myself as a man. As someone who’s spent years working in sales-centric jobs, I often wonder if this is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. The pressure to get it right—to make sure the next step is the right one—is something I wrestle with every day. Will I feel immense regret on my deathbed, wishing I had spent my days doing something I enjoyed? The fear of making the wrong decision, combined with the self-doubt that comes with turning 40 and feeling like I have accomplished nothing, has been a constant companion. And yet, here I am, rethinking, reflecting, and searching for clarity.

 

Rethink 40 is my space to process these struggles, but it’s more than that. I knwo that there has to be others out there that feel this way. It’s my hope that this blog becomes a community where we can support one another as we face the complexities of midlife. Here, we’ll explore the big questions—about career, purpose, family, and everything in between. My goal isn’t just to share my story, but to help you find inspiration, clarity, and maybe even some answers along the way.

 

So whether you're feeling lost, uncertain, or just curious about what this next chapter holds, you’re not alone. Together, we can rethink, reflect, and redefine what life at 40—and beyond—can be.

 

Let’s figure this out, one step at a time.

 

Why I'm Rethinking Life at 40

 

Turning 40 has a way of putting things into perspective, and for the last few months, I’ve found myself constantly rethinking the path I’ve been on—my career, my goals, and my idea of success. There’s this immense pressure that seems to come with 40. It feels like you’re supposed to have everything figured out, like all the pieces should have fallen into place by now. But that’s not where I’m at, and frankly, I’m starting to think maybe that’s okay.

 

For a long time, I’ve been beating myself up about all the ways I’ve “failed” as a man. I look at where I am—living with my wife, two boys, and my mother-in-law, all because we pressed pause on buying a house when the market went insane—and I feel like I should have done better. I’ve spent countless hours lamenting the state of the economy and the housing market, wishing things were different. I was stuck in this cycle of frustration and self-pity, thinking that if only the world was more stable, I could finally move forward.

 

But the reality is, no amount of my anger or worry has changed the economy or the housing market. We’re still living in this house, still waiting for the right moment. It took me months of feeling trapped to realize that the only way to change how I feel about the situation is to change how I think about it.

 

The truth is, for years, I was chasing a definition of success that wasn’t even mine. I was going after the things society tells you are supposed to matter: the house, the promotions, the perfect career trajectory. But none of that has made me happy. If anything, it’s made me more miserable because I wasn’t measuring up to some arbitrary standard that was never meant for me in the first place.

Maybe society’s definition of success is total bullshit. Maybe what really matters is deciding for yourself what success looks like, what actually brings you fulfillment and peace. That’s the thought that’s been circling in my head lately. I’m rethinking the idea that I’ve somehow failed because I haven’t hit the milestones that other people have. Instead, I’m starting to think that maybe I get to choose my own path. And maybe you do too.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong—I know I still have responsibilities. I’m a grown man, a father, and a husband, and there are things I need to do to make sure my family is taken care of. Some of that means sacrifice. It means putting the needs of my wife and kids ahead of my own sometimes. And I’m okay with that because they are a big part of what makes life meaningful to me.

 

But more than ever, I’m realizing that I also need to be happy with what I have. I don’t want my boys growing up feeling like they’re always chasing someone else’s version of success. I don’t want them to feel like they’ve failed if they haven’t hit every societal benchmark by a certain age. I want them to know that they get to define what success means for them, just like I’m learning to do for myself.

 

That doesn’t mean we stop striving for things or that we become complacent. It means that we focus on what truly matters to us. For me, that means being present for my family, finding peace in the day-to-day, and continuing to grow in ways that feel meaningful to me—not just chasing after the things I think I’m supposed to want.

 

At 40, I’m rethinking what it all means. And while I don’t have all the answers, I know one thing for sure: It’s time to stop beating myself up for not living up to someone else’s idea of success. It’s time to start living for my own.

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